Note: This column is now featured on The Huffington Post.
On Tuesday, Facebook announced plans to ruin birthday surprises forever.
That’s because the social media giant — which recently topped one billion users — is unveiling ‘Want’ and ‘Collect’ buttons to accompany its highly popular ‘Like’ feature.
The ‘Want’ button lets you create a ‘wishlist’ of favorite items to show your extended network (friends of friends). ‘Collect’ allows you to build photo galleries for your own FB friends.
Soon enough, your page could be a year-round gift registry for friends and family. So much for guessing what’s in the box.
Forget about ‘Want’ and ‘Collect.’ Who needs a second Pinterest, anyway?
Here are ten other Facebook buttons that make way more sense:
On Tuesday, former Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky was sent to prison for 30-60 years for child abuse. Instead of clicking ‘Like’ or ‘Recommend’ on the story, ‘Booo’ seems better suited for a man who did so much damage to so many people.
Strictly reserved for photos of cuddly animals and dimple-chinned babies.
Whenever you ‘join’ an event on FB (i.e. birthday bash), clicking ‘Pumped’ lets everyone else know the party is gonna be huge.
4. ’4 Stars’
Just saw a great movie, read a terrific book or watched an amazing episode of ‘Breaking Bad’? Don’t ‘Like’ it. Rate it!
So you cooked the greatest meal of all time and put the photos on FB to make everyone’s mouth water. Thanks a lot. Still, clicking ‘Like’ on a ‘Top Chef’-worthy dinner won’t do. ‘Yum’ is the tastier option.
Some news stories and videos are so crazy that they almost seem made up. Like this one a couple weeks back: a man accidentally hacked into the phone system for the Bank of France by using the password 1-2-3-4-5. What else is there to say than ‘Really?’
For all the times we congratulate people on a job well done. This one is especially appropriate when we talk about members of the military. Do you ‘Like’ someone fighting for you overseas or are you ‘Proud’ of it?
Any picture, video, status or comment that makes you laugh deserves more than a ‘Like.’ 150 ‘Haha’s’? That’s like an entire audience cracking up at your joke.
Whenever someone posts a clever status update or article. As in ‘Ahhh, what a great idea!’
Alternate option could be this image:
With ‘Want’ and ‘Collect,’ Facebook is hoping to put every company on the planet in our News Feed. Then, we’ll use their products to create ‘wishlists’ so people can buy us stuff.
So if Facebook is turning into a massive gift registry, the 10th and final button may be the most important:
10. ‘Order Filled’
Agree/disagree with any of these Facebook buttons? Which ones would you want to see?
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© 2013, Danny Rubin